Drag Race UK: Why Choriza May wanted another double elimination

Catherine of Aragon’s praise beyond the grave. Marge Simpson’s “blue muff”. Eating ass. Incoming: a very serious interview with Drag Race UK vs the World star Choriza May.

WORDS BY SAM DAMSHENAS
HEADER BY YOSEF PHELAN
SPECIAL THANKS TO MARY JONES AND ELOISE LONGDEN AT THE BBC

Choriza May might have sashayed away from Drag Race UK vs the World in sixth place, but it doesn’t matter: her 2021 debut single ‘My Pussy is Like a Peach’ has just surpassed three billion streams on Spotify. (That might need fact-checking.) On this week’s episode of the all-star international spin-off, the Valencia-born Newcastle queen lost her place in the race after the contestants danced their “padded asses off” in pairs (and half-and-half drag) for the BBC’s Strictly Come Prancing.

With all of the queens receiving rave reviews for their performance, it was a clutching-at-straws situation from the judging panel – including special guest star (and Strictly judge) Motsi Mabuse. Ultimately, Scarlet Envy and Choriza’s tango landed them in the bottom, with lip-sync winner Marina Summers (now a three-time RuPeter badge champion!) choosing to eliminate the latter ‘Eat That Ass’ songstress.

“I was really hoping that she was going to pull two lipsticks and then Scarlet was going to have to come with me. ‘If I’m going, you’re coming with me bitch,’” jokes Choriza, who memorably made herstory in season three as part of Drag Race UK’s first-ever double elimination with River Medway. “So, this time when I was eliminated, it did feel a bit lonely. I was like, ‘Oh, I wish someone was here.’”

In her exit chat with GAY TIMES, Choriza reflects on her Drag Race UK vs the World journey, why she “couldn’t be angry” at Marina and how her penchant for ‘going down’ on her ‘knees a lot’ inspired her new single – the title of which bears repeating – ‘Eat That Ass’. Oh, and in a world exclusive, Choriza reveals Catherine of Aragon’s overwhelmingly positive reaction towards her Snatch Game impersonation. Warning: this interview is quite stupid.

Choriza May, ‘My Pussy is Like a Peach’ singer-songwriter, artist and musician, how are you babe?

I’m great, how are you? My pussy is still like a peach after all these years.

Every now and again, when I’m Tesco, Sainsbury’s or the zoo, whatever, that song pops into my head.

Good. That was the plan. World pussy peach domination, and we achieved it, so.

I don’t know how it doesn’t have three billion streams on Spotify?

It does, and half of that is you.

I’m sad to be speaking with you this week because you did such a wonderful job with the dance and the runway. So, what is it like for you to be sent home when you didn’t flop?

You know what, it’s the best way to go home.

True.

How embarrassing to go home in an episode you did really badly in, know what I mean? You go home with a really bad taste in your mouth, thinking you didn’t do a good job. But, to go this way… I did the best that I could and I think I did a great job in a room where there was so many trained dancers. I really pulled a finger out of my butthole. I don’t know if that’s the expression?

Yeah, that’s right.

I had so much fun doing it. Although I was a little bit sad to go, I’m glad I went on a high for myself. I proved to myself that I can do things that are not normally what I do.

Your reaction to Marina – “WHAT?!” It got me, Choriza.

I was not expecting it. How dare she send me home? I had won three challenges, I had fifteen RuPeter Badges, I won all the cash prizes. It was wild.

And ‘My Pussy is Like a Peach’ has three billion streams. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway.

Yeah. Exactly. Thank you. Marina was so unfair.

At least you got a solo elimination this time, right?

I hated it. I was really hoping that she was going to pull two lipsticks and then Scarlet was going to have to come with me. ‘If I’m going, you’re coming with me bitch.’ It was nice to have the moment for myself but I will say, on season three, it was a blessing in disguise because I was eliminated with my best friend from my season. I had a hand to hold and someone to go through it [with]. You know, trauma bond is the best bond. So, this time when I was eliminated, it did feel a bit lonely. I was like, ‘Oh, I wish someone was here.’

I still don’t understand that season three elimination. It was no Honey Mahogany and Vivienne Pinay? It doesn’t make sense to me.

Thank you. You know what, it made me and River [Medway] sisters for life. But, it’s always going to be an elimination people will remember, and we love that.

You didn’t actually seem to be too shocked when Marina revealed your lipstick. I assume that’s because of how loyal the queens have been this season with voting on track record?

Yes, absolutely. Marina has been very fair, respecting the performance of the queens and considering the track record. So, she had saved me the week before. Although I wanted another chance, it was Scarlet’s first time in the bottom. I wish, if it was my first time in the bottom, that people would give me a second chance, and Marina had already done that, so I couldn’t be angry at her. I could guess that was coming.

I was on the edge of my seat, though, because I honestly didn’t know how it was going to go. Both Marina and Hannah [Conda] expressed in their confessionals that they didn’t want to send you home, because they’re closer to you than Scarlet, and they’re unsure on her strategy with voting. Do you think, if she’s in the top again, she will vote fair? In week two, she said she will eliminate the strongest queen.

I think she will do that. Oh my gosh, the Americans are so competitive. I know Scarlet wants to be in that top and she wants to be the winner so badly. I have no doubt, if she lands in the top next week, she will get rid of her greatest competition. I can understand why the queens are a little bit shaky, because loyalty is a thing. And if Marina had saved me twice, there’s not a chance if I had landed in the top next week that I would have sent her home. I would not be able to do that. Stay tuned!

Let’s talk about some of your highlights throughout the series. Your Snatch Game was so stupid… and brilliant. Has Catherine of Aragon, who is very much alive, reached out?

She has, through a ouija board I did the other day. She said to me, I remember, ‘Choriza, now that we don’t know where the future Queen of the UK is – she’s disappeared, and she’s busy playing with photoshop – I would like to let you know that, if something happens, I would like you to be the next Queen of England. You may not have won Drag Race, but you’ve won the heart of a nation. And for that, I declare you the next Queen of England.’ I would like to arrange a meeting with the Royal Family because I have a few concerns.

That sounds like classic Catherine.

She’s still bitter about the divorce. She told me, ‘Don’t get married. [Have an] open relationship. Suck all the dick that you can.’

I asked you that ridiculous question because I knew you were going to give me a response like that. Thank you.

It’s the truth. Do you know what’s funny, actually, in season three I did Margarita Pracatan, who had passed away the year previous. Her family reached out to me, her daughter, to say congratulations on what an amazing and accurate job I had done and that she was sad to see me go home. That was very nice. That’s true, not like Catherine of Aragon. She DM’d me on Instagram. That was very nice, very graceful.

What about Marge Simpson? I know she’s reached out, yeah?

She’s pissed off because it’s like, ‘I spent all this money and went through all this pain shaping my blue muff, and you go on telly and mislead the audience worldwide to let people know that I have a blue, fluffy pussy.’ So, next time I do Marge, I’m gonna shave it.

You went viral with that.

It’s viral. That is one of my favourite things. But, it was lovely that I got to bring her because that’s one of the numbers I do in my set, where I get naked to some fun music. Fun fact for you: that’s an outfit I already had and I didn’t spend any penny on it. So, queens: bring the stuff you already had, don’t spend so much money. Talking about eating my ass, my new single, ‘Eat That Ass‘, is now available on all platforms. You’re welcome.

Yes, that is a really beautiful and profound song. What possessed you to open up about something so personal to you, such as eating ass?

Touring the world about how my pussy is like a peach, I honestly feel the audience wants to know more. And now, they can eat my ass from their house, streaming my music. It’s what they deserve and, as the new Queen of England, what I’m ready to give them.

The lyric “I was put on this earth with only one destiny: to get on my knees”, it must’ve taken a lot of strength to share that with the world?

I’m a prayer. I go down on my knees a lot. It didn’t quite work this time, because I prayed about winning, but on season three I did pray about double penetration and I got a double elimination, so I got close. I’m gonna keep going on my knees until I get what I want.

You are the Queen of England we deserve.

Thank you. Appreciate that.

You might be the first ever Queen of England to top the charts with a song about eating ass, so let’s put that into the world.

That’s only because Catherine didn’t get the chance to release music. I knew she would’ve topped the charts as well.

What would she have sang about?

She would’ve sang about marrying your brother-in-law and about how her husband can’t get it hard enough, and she’s not satisfied. I’m gonna get kicked out of the country for talking all this shit, but I’m taking the crown and I’m talking facts.

What genre do you think Catherine of Aragon would’ve gone for? Dubstep? Grime?

I think trap and reggaeton. She was Spanish, after all. Yeah, I think reggaeton. She would get down with that big ass of hers. Go down, beneath the ground, hold her purse, while she snatch the crown. That’s what she would say.

A visionary. Rest in peace.

Love her. An inspiration to me.

Is there anything else you want to promote or plug or tell us about your post-UK vs the World career?

I’m very excited. I released ‘Party in Hell’, which was my talent show song. I’ve now released ‘Eat That Ass‘, which is the second song of the EP that I’m going to be releasing in the next few months. We’re also touring the UK with the official UK vs the World season two tour. I’m going to be performing all the songs from the EP. Then, later this year, in fall, I’m gonna be doing my first one-woman show across the UK theatres, The Choriza May Show. I’m excited to do my camp, silly songs to everyone.

Drag Race UK vs the World is streaming in the UK on BBC iPlayer.

The post Drag Race UK: Why Choriza May wanted another double elimination appeared first on GAY TIMES.